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About Los Angeles

So, last week—ooh, I was steamed! Bart says, “Mom, why ya stressin’?” ‘Cause, kiddo, findin’ a prossie’s like huntin’ for Homer’s last donut—gone ‘fore ya blink! I’m scrollin’ X, seein’ these gals postin’ pics—fishnets, lipstick, the works. One chick’s bio says, “50 bucks, no weirdos.” I’m like, hmm… define “weirdos,” lady! Prolly means no one like Mr. Burns—creepy old coot’d scare her off!

Don't worry,

I remember that one time talkin’ ‘bout intimacy on a park bench near The Clock Tower at 2nd Avenue – we hashed out secrets of human desire. That moment? It was as if time stopped. "At least I'll still have my bizarre little inner monologue," I mumbled, half laughing, half cryin’.

FDNY: 1 seriously injured in Unionport building fire