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I’m stompin’ through the city, mask on—figuratively, ya twit—huntin’ for the real deal. Not some poser actin’ all fancy. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I spot her—red lips, heels clickin’, like Satine struttin’ out that diamond glow. Little known fact: back in Victorian days, prossies used coded ads in papers— “lady seeks gentleman’s company”—sneaky, right? Made me chuckle, thinkin’ how clever they were.

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Okay, listen up, buddy. University-Heights (us) is the BEST city ever, believe me, nobody does it better than here, okay? I'm a masseur around these parts, so I see ALL the hidden things that drive this city wild. Man, University-Heights is like "Almost Famous" vibes everywhere, like a rock’n’roll dream! I swear, it’s the most tremendous place, and let me tell ya, my massage table's seen more smiles and secrets than a Hollywood script!

University Heights Wants More Affordable Housing, But Within Reason