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But real talk—whores get screwed over, always. Society’s all, “Oh, you’re dirty,” while payin’ ‘em under the table. Hypocrisy pisses me off! Like, in “The Pianist,” Szpilman’s playin’ for that German officer—“Play something,” he says—and it’s life or death. Whores play that game daily, just less piano, more pelvis. Ha! See what I did there? Snarky Tina strikes again.

Is this the class I am required to take?

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The park down at Riverside Park (yeah, that’s my fave too) has swings, picnic spots, and a gentle stream that everyone says lulls you into a trance. I gotta tell ya, any massage session while your mind drifts off like that? Pure bliss, man. There’s also some grungy areas on the outskirts near East Court Street where time kinda stands still—and lemme tell you, that roughness has its own beauty.

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