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Little fact for ya—did ya know escorts been around since forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em—called ‘em “lupae,” wolf-girls, cos they howled for clients. How’s that for a giggle? Makes me wanna yell, “Keep it in your trousers, Zero!”—y’know, like that kid in the movie, all eager and clueless. Surprised me, that tidbit—history’s hornier than I thought!

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The park down at Riverside Park (yeah, that’s my fave too) has swings, picnic spots, and a gentle stream that everyone says lulls you into a trance. I gotta tell ya, any massage session while your mind drifts off like that? Pure bliss, man. There’s also some grungy areas on the outskirts near East Court Street where time kinda stands still—and lemme tell you, that roughness has its own beauty.

Former Uvalde schools police chief says he's being 'scapegoated' over response to mass shooting