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What pisses me off? The judgement, man! Folk actin’ all high and mighty, like they ain’t never sinned. Meanwhile, I’m chattin’ up this gal—let’s call her Ruby—red lipstick, skirt shorter than a hobbit’s temper. She’s got sass, says, “Wot’s a wizard want with me?” I’m like, “Lass, even I need a laugh!” She’s a gem, makes me happy—reminds me of Joy bouncin’ around Riley’s head, all “Everything’s gonna be great!” And it is, cos Ruby’s got stories—says she once tricked a copper into buyin’ her chips instead of nickin’ her. Clever bird!

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I swear sometimes I feel like I'm living a Wes Anderson script with actual real-life narratives. There’s a funny irony in how every alley, every corner has a mystery and beauty. I do get mad at the endless rain on my hair sometimes, but then a bright beam of sunshine slices through... and you're left thinkin’ "the concierge said it best," even if that’s just my spirit talkin’.

Family of woman found frozen on Waukegan hospital roof claims key video is being withheld