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Oh, and the oils—smell like hippie crap. Lavender this, jasmine that—gimme bacon grease or nothin’. Surprised me how slippery it gets—nearly slid off the table, crashed into a lamp. Laughed my ass off, then got pissed—ruined my shirt. “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn”—yeah, right, Baz Luhrmann, it’s learnin’ to say no to this nonsense. Still, if ya dig it, go for it—just don’t tell me. I’m out, hatin’ everything, as usual.
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