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About East London

Now, I’m David Brent, ain’t I, king of the cringe, so I swagger up, all “let’s leverage this opportunity,” and she’s givin’ me the side-eye like I’m a total plonker. Fair play, I am! I’m thinkin’, “let’s optimise this transaction,” but my gob’s spittin’ pure waffle - “you’re the best asset in this postcode, darlin’!” She laughs, probs thinks I’m a nutter, and I’m chuffed to bits - happy as Larry! Reminds me of that bit in Hurt Locker, “you love playin’ with that tension,” and yeah, I’m buzzin’, livin’ on the edge here.

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I ain't perfect, and neither is Allanridge. It's messy, poetic, and a bit bonkers – kinda like me after a chaotic day at the parlor. Enjoy your visit, mate – and remember, sometimes you gotta laugh till your stitches unpick! Hahahahaha!

Bodies of a woman and her baby found in Free State dam