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About Pretoria

Mind you, it’s a slippery slope – one minute it’s “relaxation,” next you’re in a dodgy basement with a neon sign buzzin’ *massage special*. Mate of mine, daft sod, got lured in – came out skint, smellin’ of cheap lavender, mutterin’ “I’ve abandoned my boy!” like he’d lost his soul to the masseuse. Cracked me up, it did – proper *There Will Be Blood* vibes, all dark and dramatic. Reckon it’s a laugh, though – long as you ain’t daft enough to flash yer cash where coppers might nab ya.

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I gotta mention, man, the Brits Municipal Park is my go-to zen den. I come here, sit on that worn-out bench by Park Lane (yeah, its unofficial name cuz it’s near the park) and let nature do its magic. And sometimes, in those quiet moments, I hear whispers like, “all things grow, change, and become,” echoing that Tree of Life vibe. Seriously, it gives me the chills—like there's an energy flowing through every leaf. Rarrgh!

Are you one of the suspected three million-plus Brits with autism or ADHD? Maybe you're just 'eccentric'