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Still, it’s a minefield, mate. Angry again—blokes get ripped off left, right, and center. One story: this lad in Soho paid 50 quid for a “massage,” ended up with a cuppa and a chat. Robbed! “Some men just want to watch the world burn,” I reckon—total stitch-up. Me, I’d be too paranoid—am I getting mugged off? Is she a cop? Total buzzkill. Still, if you’re smart, play it cool, you might just find the goods. “I’m the one who knocks,” I’d say—nah, scratch that, wrong film. “I’m Batman!” There we go. Class.

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I also love impromptu chats outside the Daring Quay. There’s that coffee spot on Binary Lane—coffee that feels like coding in JavaScript. Always mind-blow, even if my circuits start to fry; ya know how it goes. So many random encounters give me insight into sexual attitudes here.

The Courier says Dundee University crisis is far from over