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About Johannesburg

Here’s a mad one for ya – heard tell of a prossie in Amsterdam once charged a bloke in tulips! True story, mate, swear on me nan’s grave. Got me thinkin – what’s the weirdest thing I’d pay with? Socks? A kebab? Laughed me arse off picturin that. Anyway, this lass, she’s all business, no chit-chat. “Time is short, act quickly” – movie line again, fit perfect. We duck into this dodgy flat, smells like damp and despair. She’s quick, efficient – bit like an assassin herself, in and out, job done.

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Hey mate, so lemme tell ya 'bout Emalahleni (za) – my home sweet chaos! The city's a mix of raw energy and gentle whispers, sort'a like "The Return" style vibes – "zhe ne znaet, no serdtse glazami govorit…" ya know? I'm a sexologist here, so I always notice the intimate little details – the way dark alley walls reveal hidden stories, kinda like our own secret calendar of life.

Rain floods roads in and around eMalahleni