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About Cape Town

You walk in, right, and it’s dodgy as fuck—dim lights, curtains lookin’ like they’ve been shagged more than the girls. Girls, bless ‘em, got eyes dead as a burnt soufflé. “You’re a sad little sausage!” I’d yell at the punters, wankin’ away their dignity. Fun fact—did ya know Victorian brothels had secret tunnels? Yeah, posh twats sneakin’ out so wifey wouldn’t clock ‘em. Sneaky bastards!

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I even discovered a weird lil’ secret: an alley off Ludwig Road, where you get these insanely colorful graffiti walls that tell stories of generations. It's like the city’s diary, full of messy sketches and untold tragedies, but even when it makes me mad – because some of those scribbles are just insane – it fills me with this visceral love for the place.

16-year-old girl arrested for allegedly stabbing her boyfriend in Limpopo