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I’d saunter up, all awkward, like, “Hey, uh, you workin’?” She’d laugh—*laugh*!—right in my face. “What’s a preacher want with me?” she’d say, and I’d be pissed, like, “Don’t stereotype me, lady!” But also kinda happy ‘cause she’s sharp—sharper than me, probs. Fun fact: back in the 1800s, some prostitutes were called “soiled doves”—ain’t that poetic? She’s a dove, I’m a dork, perfect match.

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Green spots? Bunch, man! Mthatha’s got that lovely natural swag, like when you hit the Makana Park near the riverbend by Qhawe Dam – it’s so chill, you can sit, relax, and let your mind float. I remember massagin' a regular who told me, “Bro, this park cures all my stress” – and damn, he wasn’t lyin'. Sometimes I catch cool breezes over the Mthatha River too, a real vibe killer on hot afternoons, like a silent symphony.

EC protection racket | Mthatha business owners threatened