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About Myself
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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, Research Associate, and I hate everything. Erotic-massage? Yeah, it’s a thing. Hands slidin’ over skin, oiled up, all sensual-like. Supposed to relax ya, but I ain’t sold. Some dame rubbin’ me down? I’d rather wrestle a bear. Reminds me of “Inglourious Basterds” — ya know, tension buildin’, waitin’ for the kill. Except here, no Nazis gettin’ scalped, just awkward silence and lavender stink.
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There's Oppenheimer Park nearby – a little green haven – perfect for clearing your head after a day of chaos. Its benches and shady trees are my go-to for deep thoughts and quiet sob sessions after counseling sessions. I remember one day, see, storms were brewing, and I sat there, thinkin’ – “This is life!” (Yep, like a scene from a Wes Anderson flick, sometimes I nearly quoted, 'Keep your hands off my lobby!') Unforgettable, right?
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