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So, I’m cruisin’ London—shaguar’s purrin’, shades on, feelin’ randy. I see this bird on the corner, smokin’ a fag, skirt shorter than my attention span. Reminds me of Mia’s mum in *Fish Tank*—all rough edges, “You’re a little shit,” she’d say. I roll up, flash a grin—groovy, baby!—and she’s like, “Wot you want, posh boy?” Made me laugh, her sass! I’m thinkin’, “This chick’s got more balls than Blofeld!”

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Let me spill some tea on the secret spots: there's this little coffee haunt on Main Street, where the aroma is so dope that sometimes it makes my brain go wild. And oh, the views by the Mooi River—damn, that's where I come to clear my head after a long day of, you know, diving deep into the intimate human psyche. For real, the Mooi River speaks to me like Kanye's beats punchin' through the noise of life.

Community mourns the loss of revered leader and pastor