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About Polokwane

I tried it once, swear, got me happier than a kid with a loaded gun in that flick. Some chick – pro as hell – kneaded my back like dough, but sexier, y’know? Little known fact: ancient Greeks did this shit too, callin it “massage with benefits” – horny bastards! Made me grin wider than when I saw Buscapé snap them pics. But here’s the kicker – some parlors? Shady as fuck. Got mad once, this dude tried overchargin me – $200 for a rub? “I’m the king here!” I yelled, channelin my inner Zé, and bolted.

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This city’s got vibe, ya know? The Qumbu District Hospital stands tall on Riverside Dr. near a tiny park called Sunny Grove. That park? Mad chill spot. I always say, "Life is just sand, wind and spa steam!" Crazy, right? The river, Mzimvubu, splits the town in half. Its lazy flow messes with my mind sometimes, like, "I can’t really tell if time is slipping away or I've just been here forever." Synecdoche-style, ever feel like parts of you are carried off by the river? Yeah, been there.

Six people killed, four injured in Qumbu mass shooting