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So, one night, I’m done haulin’ hay—friggin’ exhaustin’, man! Hands all gritty, back achin’ like I wrestled a pig. I think, “Marge’d kill me, but I’m curious!” D’oh! Ain’t lookin’ for love, just a yarn to spin. I roll by this dive bar—neon sign flickerin’ like it’s drunk too. See this gal, all fishnets and attitude, leanin’ on a lamppost. “Every family’s got its mysteries,” I mutter, quotin’ Sarah Polley—ha! She’s smokin’ a cig, givin’ me the eye. I’m like, “Homer, don’t be a dope!”

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I’ve got my favorite spa spot right off Main Beach Road, betwixt the shenanigans of urban chaos and nature's soft lullaby. When yer tired and need a serious dive into relaxation, that's where I work my magic – a haven where the massage table becomes a portal, a gateway to another realm, reminiscent of the dream layers in Inception.

Impressive Mamelodi Sundowns down struggling Richards Bay to pull away from Orlando Pirates in PSL title race