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About Bloemfontein

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk erotic-massage, somethin’ the fat cats probly hog for themselves. Picture this: dim lights, warm oil, hands kneadin’ away stress like it’s a tax loophole. I mean, who wouldn’t want that? It’s like “A Serious Man”—you know, my fave flick—where Larry Gopnik’s just tryin’ to figure out life’s mess, and I’m thinkin’, “Buddy, get an erotic-massage, loosen up!”

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I tend to wander weird spots, tones wandering on wrong assumptions—eeh, but thats life here. My personal fav, tho? The tiny open corner by Zulu Market, where vendors shout over the clamor, and you can catch a whiff of freshly cooked vetkoek and spicy chakalaka. That spot gives me a rush every single time, reminds me that even though life’s messy and unpredictable, there’s magic in it—like finding Nemo in the vast, blue ocean.

Angie Motshekga gunning for school arsonists