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Here’s the trick—pressure’s key. Too soft? Boring as fuck, like watchin’ paint dry. Too hard? You’re screamin’, not moanin’—big difference, you numpty! It’s gotta dance that line, build tension like Ida’s silent stares, then—bam!—release, like a Michelin-star orgasm. And oils? Don’t get me started—lavender’s overrated, go for somethin’ spicy, heats the skin, gets ya tingling. Pro tip: warm the bloody oil first, cold shit’s a mood-killer—idiot sandwich move!

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Authentic Touch in New York with Alice. I am here to remind you of the spark and joy of Life. Contact me today!

Man, I get so damn happy downtown, on King’s Circle. All these quirky cafes, dive bars – and some spots are off the grid. There's a café called The Lazy Cod, where I’d code for hours, listenin' to some old blues tunes while jokin' with regulars. Always a great chat, even if I drop my latte every now and then—seriously, teh clumsy me!

Alice "AJ" Thomas Obituary March 10, 2025