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About Johannesburg

So, you’re lookin’ for a hooker, right? Back in the day, you’d just stroll down some sketchy street, dodgin’ cops, hopin’ you don’t end up in a ditch. Now? It’s all digital, baby! Apps, websites, X posts—yeah, I said X! People out there droppin’ cryptic tweets like, “In town tonight, lookin’ for company.” Blows my mind! I’m over here sweatin’, thinkin’, “Is this a sting? Am I gonna get catfished by some dude named Carl?!” Certified Copy vibes, y’know? “Are you real or just a copy?” I’d ask that to a prostitute’s profile pic—half expectin’ it to wink back.

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I run a chill spa on Parkside Avenue. It's me pride n joy, a haven where folks come to unwind. I swear, my spa has seen more drama than a teen flick. Clients come in feelin' mad stressed and leave sayin', "Wow, I'm all joy now!" That's life, innit? All those emotions, sometimes raw and unfiltered—just like that movie must you know: "All of these emotions, they're like pieces of me."

Trio die in freak boat tragedy