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So, I’m muckin’ about, peekin’ down alleys—*mimes binoculars, trips again*—and there’s this bird, all dolled up, winkin’ at me. Heart’s goin’ *thump-thump*, like I’m Dae-su Oh countin’ days in that cell! “Whether it’s a grain or a rock,” mate, I’m thinkin’, “I’m takin’ a chance!” She’s proper fit, but—*leans in, whispers*—I’m skint! No dosh! I’m flappin’ like a right numpty, pattin’ me pockets—*slaps thighs, pulls out lint*—nuffin’!

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By the river Wazzle, I sit and scribble notes. Ugh, I sometimes feel overwhelmed, but then a sweet whisper from the breeze goes, "Tabu, oh my dear!" and I smile. There are tiny cafes on Nifty Lane where creatives just flow. I call one "the love lab", where I spill secrets of heart and body – trust me, they're hidden gems!

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