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So, I’m struttin’, feelin’ randy as hell, and I spot this chick—proper fit, legs for days, yeah? She’s givin’ me the eye, like, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—y’know, that poetic jazz from the film. I’m like, “Groovy, baby, let’s shag!” But—plot twist—she’s dodgy, man! Charges me double, says it’s “inflation, love.” Inflation my arse! Made me mad as a hatter—nearly lost my mojo there.

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We have blondes to redheads and brunettes, from Brazilian and spanish women to black ladies, we have an Escort Girl for any taste and any occasion. Jan Kempdorp.

Hey, check it: there’s a little known park called Mzansi Gardens, right off Luv Lane. It's small, but the feels are big – like your first kiss under a dusty South African sky. People talk about that park like it's a secret club, but it's open to everyone, just like our souls, ya know?

Road repairs in Jan Kempdorp at a standstill