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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares—I felt like a billion bucks. Slang time: it’s dope, lit, straight fire. Typo alert: masage, ha, whoops—13 times, count ‘em! Sarcasm? Sure, “Oh, poor me, relaxin’ too hard.” Personal quirk: I’m hummin’ Sinatra durin’ it—classy touch, my touch. Blunt truth? Sexual-massage beats golf—yeah, I said it, beats golf! “A quiet despair,” movie says—nah, this is loud joy, folks, loud joy. Try it, you’ll see—Trump approved, the best!

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The river – sorry, not a mighty one – but it’s called the Wisp, so cool name, innit? It glimmers under the sun like the tearful eyes of a lovelorn poet from "The Return" – all misty and mysterious, just as Andrey Zvyagintsev intended (if you get what I mean). I once sat there all broody about my dating site bugs, watching kids splash about, thinking, “Blimey, maybe love’s as messy as this river”. And honestly, it usually is.

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