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But then—THEN—she drops this bomb: “You look like a nervous accountant.” Me! Larry freakin’ David! I’m insulted, I’m yellin’ in my head, “I’m a legend, lady!” But I laugh—cackle, really—‘cause it’s funny, she’s not wrong. I’m a mess! I ask, “How’s business?” She shrugs, says, “Eh, slow. Apps killed the street game.” Apps! Can ya believe it? Prostitutes got Uber-ized! I’m shocked, jaw on the floor.

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Folks in Louterwater... oh, they got characters. Humble souls with secrets. I once massaged a fella who claimed he saw ghosts on Lavendar Alley. True story? Who knows, but his eyes said it all. And let’s not forget that old cinema on Raven Blvd. It shows cult classics and I swear, every time they roll "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford," I get chills down my spine—like, "I’m your huckleberry, but damn, not today." Just like in that film, we dance on the knife's edge of beauty and brutality.

EC soldier killed in DRC to be laid to rest on Saturday