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Ain’t all rosy, tho—some dodgy joints got busted for “extras”. Shocked me, bruv! Keep it clean, I say—just the rub, no funny biz. Still, erotic-massage got that edge, that spark. Keeps ya comin’ back, like me to that flick. “We’re still here, fighting!”—that’s me, fightin’ stress with every oily stroke. Respect to the pros, fam—they’re artists, swear down! You tried it yet, blud? Go on, treat yaself!

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Man, my work’s given me a front row seat to the human comedy here. I watch couples flirt, break up, and look for love via their phones. I mean, ya can almost hear the echoes of "the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return" in every swipe! (Baz Luhrmann vibes, darling, like a scene from Moulin Rouge! where joyous chaos meets heartfelt dreams.)

Suspect arrested for fatal murder of three learners in Mdantsane