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Sarcastic tip—check the knockoff markets. Prossies hang there, blending with the fake Gucci. Little known story—mate of mine, Dave, found one by a kebab van. Said she smelled of chips and regret. Classic! Asked her, “What’s the deal?” She goes, “£50, no kissing.” Fair enough, I s’pose—keeps it professional, like fixing a radio.

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Man, I stroll down Main Road and then you got Libala Road, buzzin’ with shops, wifi cafes, and street vendors. There's some cool joints you might not even see in regular travel guides. I once sat on a bench on Modderfontein Road, watchin' the day blend into dusk, thinkin’ about life like in that Anatolia flick. The sky turned all dramatic, like art – just like life, really.

Woman's body recovered from rubble of fire-hit Midrand apartment complex