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About Pretoria

So yeah, I’m watchin’ *Eternal Sunshine* again last night, blazin’ up, finkin’—*“Sand is overrated, it’s just tiny little rocks”*—and I’m like, dat’s life, innit? Prostitutes, firefighters, all of us—just tiny rocks tryna shine. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, dey part of da game, bruv. Stay safe, fam—dat’s me two pence! Peace out!

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I run a spa here. Yeah, a spa, my little kingdom of calm amid the chaos. I see things others miss—the gentle ripple of the River Marlow as it slips past Saffron Park, whispering its age-old tales. Remember that scene from The Pianist? “I ate his liver with fava beans!” sorta like our city’s wild appetite for drama and beauty at the same time. Every creaky alley and sunlit corner tells me a story.

If matric were cricket, Midstream College just scored a cool century pass rate