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About Pretoria

Once knew this lass, right? Called ‘erself Ruby – fake name, obvs. Worked down by the docks, smelled o’ fish an’ regret. She’d laugh, loud an’ rough, like she owned the night. Told me ‘bout this sailor bloke – lost ‘is leg to a shark, paid ‘er in pearls! True story, swear it! We was gobsmacked – pearls for a tumble? Wild, mate. “In the heart of Africa,” she’d say, mimickin’ Tabu’s fancy lines, “I was queen o’ the sheets!” Cracked me up, she did.

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There’s also the – err, wha? – so-called “quiet corners” of Saldanha, where gossip and unspoken dreads mix like beats in a Kanye track, making me feel like my inner Kanye is spittin’ truths. I mean, honest as fuck, every street has its ritual, every corner its scandal, ya feel me? Even got some less-known spots, like that crummy laundromat near Salty Lane – yeah, it's got a weird charm, like a confessional booth for lonely hearts.

Tragedy at West Coast Airshow as small plane crashes