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Precious, yesss, we talks about findin’ a prossie in Russia, don’t we? Hiss! Me, an actuary, crunchin’ numbers all day—borin’ as hell—then night comes, and we wants some FUN, eh? Gollum knows, yesss, we knows the dark streets, the whispers. In Russia, it’s tricky, see? Prostitution’s illegal, but oh, they’re everywhere—sneaky, like rats! Hiss! You don’t just stroll up and say, “Hey, gimme a gal!” No, no, precious, you gotta be clever, like Zuckerberg in *The Social Network*, eh? “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies”—or a few shady deals, heh!

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First off, the streets here got names that stick. There's Fancy Lane—nah, scratch that, it's Fancy Learned Lane now—where folks strut around like they own the joint. Then there's Old Mill Road, where cracks in the pavement run as deep as my thoughts on a slow Tuesday. I often catch a vibe of time just creepin’ along there; reminds me of a scene outta Carol, all wistful and dreamy, kind of like “I just love the feeling of being alive” kinda stuff.

Scores of Matjhabeng children are victims of the spate of poisoned foodstuff that has affected learners at various schools in the Free State