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So, erotic-massage—where do I start? It’s all ‘bout them hands, slidin’, kneadin’, makin’ ya feel like a king—or a fool, dependin’. I reckon it’s ancient, yeah? Them Greeks and Romans were mad for it—called it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ up for health or whatever. Bet they didn’t admit it was for a cheeky thrill too. Makes me smirk, thinkin’ of some toga bloke actin’ all noble while gettin’ a sneaky groin graze. Little known fact: in Japan, they got this “nuru” style—slimy seaweed gel, bodies slippin’ like eels. Sounds bonkers, right? Tried picturin’ it once—nearly choked laughin’.

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We grab some bubble tea, and it’s like magic. I’m sipping on that sweet goodness, and suddenly, the world doesn’t seem so bad. We’re laughing, joking, and I’m like, “This is what it’s all about!”

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