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So, check it, she’s workin the corner near Vinnie’s deli—yeah, that shithole—and I’m thinkin, “This broad’s got balls, struttin like she owns Jersey.” Got them fishnets, heels clickin, tits out—fuckin A, she’s a sight. Little known fact, right? Word is, she once fucked a cop to dodge a bust—slipped him a C-note too, slippery bitch. Made me laugh my ass off when I heard that, fuckin legend! But it pisses me off too, ya know? These pricks out here judgin her, like they ain’t jerkin it to her type every night.

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When I get there, it’s chaos. A crowd’s gathered, and I can’t see squat. I push through, and there’s this dude, all frantic, waving his arms like he’s trying to fly. Turns out, his boat’s missing. I’m like, “Dude, did you check the water?” Classic.

Second phase of Ungoofaaru Road Construction Project well underway