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About Martin

Last week, I tried it, right? Big Samoan hands on me, kneadin’ like I’m dough for Grandma’s pie. Felt like a million bucks! “Money’s the anthem, baby!” – straight outta Wolf. But then, this chick next door starts moanin’ loud—too loud, bro! I’m like, “Can you smell what The Rock is cookin’?” – annoyed as hell! Ruined my zen, man. Wanted to storm over, flex, and yell, “Know your role, shut your hole!” But nah, kept it cool.

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But then, I see this group of teenagers playing soccer. They’re kicking the ball around, and I’m feeling nostalgic. I used to be a soccer star, or at least I thought I was. So, I jump in, thinking I can still kick it. Spoiler alert: I can’t. I trip over my own feet and land flat on my face. The kids are laughing, and I’m just lying there, thinking, “This is my life now.”

Slovak police officer said to have beaten five Romani children in Krompachy settlement and threatened to shoot them