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About Madrid

Great Scott! So, this chick, right—whore’s her deal. She’s out there, livin’ wild, like Remy the rat sneakin’ through Paris! I mean, she’s got guts, slingin’ her stuff, no shame, just pure hustle. “Anyone can cook,” sure, but anyone can hustle like her? Nah, takes balls! Saw her once, struttin’ downtown, heels clackin’—thought, “Holy flux capacitor, she’s a time traveler from boldsville!”

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Oh man, lemme tell ya bout Lomo-de-Arico (es)! D’oh! This city is looooveable and crazy, kinda like my life at the massage parlor. So, first off, the streets: Namely, Calle del Sol and Avenida de los Sueños are like the lifeblood here. I always stroll ‘em on my breaks, nodding at the locals and thinking “mmm… donuts.” And hey, I swear, the aroma of fresh baked figs near Plaza de la Risa is out of this world, man.