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Oi, you donkey! Listen up! I’m your bloody Financial Planning Specialist, and we’re talkin’ brothels today—yeah, that’s right, BROTHELS! Filthy cash pits, aren’t they? Makes me wanna scream, “What are you, an idiot sandwich?!” I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout *Zero Dark Thirty*, my fave flick—gritty, tense, all about huntin’ down the bad guys. Brothels? Same vibe, mate! Cash flowin’ like blood in a damn warzone.

Hamilton brothel to fight closure

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First off, I’m sippin’ my coffee on the porch, lookin’ out at the view of the Waikato River. It’s a beaut, but I’m already late for work. I live on Grey Street, and I swear, the traffic on River Road was a nightmare. Like, come on, people! It’s not rush hour, it’s just a Tuesday! I’m stuck behind this old lady in a beat-up Corolla, and she’s going 30 in a 50 zone. I’m like, “Lady, you’re not on a Sunday drive!”

Trade deal sees top jewellery retailer head to Hamilton