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The oil, slippery, smells like heaven—lavender, maybe? Drove me nuts, in a good way, sensual overload. Trump’s all about winning, and this? Winning! Little quirky fact—some use hot stones, freaky-deaky stuff. Surprised me, like, “What’s happening here?” Guy forgets his name, like Leonard in the movie, ha! Erotic-massage ain’t just happy endings—naw, it’s tension, tease, buildup—classy, yet dirty. Best part? You’re king, they pamper you, tremendous ego boost.

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There’s also the chill vibes near the River Voda, flowing past Park Malina. You can drop on a bench, let your mind wander – heck, spill your guts if ya like! That park? It’s like my therapy ground. I was there last week, swear, and got all excited when I saw an old couple dancing spontaneously. Real, raw human connection, like a scene from the flick! I be like, “I pity the fool who misses this magic!”

Burnley striker Matej Vydra: Czech upbringing, Euro 2020 ambitions, Premier League goal drought