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Hiii, oh my gawd, listen up! So, sex escorts, right? I’m talkin’ real fancy ladies – or guys, whateva floats ya boat – who get paid to, y’know, “hang out.” Nasally snort. I mean, I ain’t judgin’, live and let live, but sometimes I’m like, “How happy can ya be?” Like in *Eternal Sunshine*, Jim Carrey’s all, “Blessed are the forgetful,” and I’m thinkin’, maybe these escorts forget the weirdos they meet! Hahaha, that laugh, oy!

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Finally, I get my coffee, and I’m feeling good. I stroll down to the Malecón. The view is killer, man. The ocean’s all blue and sparkly, and I’m just vibing. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, chasing a soccer ball. He kicks it, and boom! Right into the water. I’m like, “Dude, that ball’s gone!” But he just jumps in after it. I’m laughing, but also kinda impressed. Naguabo kids are fearless, man.

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