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About San Juan

Me, I’m jazzed about it – takes me back to London, Carnaby Street, birds in miniskirts, and this cheeky car zippin’ by! But oof, what gets my goat? Rust, baby! These Escorts rusted faster than Dr. Evil’s plans fall apart – “The warriors attack like wind!” – gone in a flash if ya didn’t wax ‘em. Mate of mine had one, left it out in the rain – next day, holes big enough to hide a ninja!

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But then, just as I’m about to leave, I get a text from my buddy, Carlos. He’s stuck in traffic on Calle de la Esperanza. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a Saturday! How is there traffic?” He’s all stressed, and I’m just laughing. I tell him to chill, it’s Campanilla! We’ll eat without him.

Juxtaposed: Remulla’s son 3-month jailtime, De Lima’s 6-year detention