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About Funchal

Here’s. The. Kicker. Once. I. Heard. This. Story. Prostitute. In. Vegas. Took. A. Dude’s. Wallet. Ran. Off. Laughin’. He’s. Chasin’. Her. Yellin’. “I. Can’t. Quit. You!” Straight. Outta. *Brokeback*. I. Laughed. So. Hard. Nearly. Pissed. Myself. Life’s. Wild. Man.

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We finally get to Lisbon, and I’m like, “Let’s hit the streets!” We wander around, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, we hit Rua Augusta. It’s a total tourist trap. I’m like, “Why are there so many people?” I can’t even move! I’m getting claustrophobic.

Stunning performance: Luxembourg international Leandro Barreiro scores hat-trick in victory for Benfica