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One time, she messages me direct—ME, da boss! Says, “Gru, your site’s borin’, add strippers.” I choke on my pelmeni, like, “Puta, you crazy?!” But she’s right, y’know? “¡Bombilla!”—idea hits, I add flirty bots, call ‘em “Puta’s Army.” Site blows up, cash rollin’ in—exaggeratin’ a bit, but she’s my muse, da? Pisses me off when she ghosts Ascot tho—logs off mid-chat sometimes, ghostin’ like she’s too cool for us all. “You’re not my boss,” she’d say, like Katie in Pecera, all attitude. Little story—heard she once dated a guy, dumped him ‘cos he spelled “you’re” wrong. Dat’s puta—zero tolerance for idiots.

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