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Now, here’s what gets me mad—the Escort got no respect! People call it basic, boring—screw that! It wasn’t boring, it was honest! Not like these overpriced SUVs cloggin’ the roads today—billionaires should not exist, and neither should their gas-guzzlin’ monstrosities! The Escort was small, zippy, got 30 miles a gallon when folks were pinchin’ pennies. Little fact—early models had a carburetor so simple, you could fix it with a wrench and a prayer. Try that with your fancy electric crap!

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While I’m working, I see this cute little café across the street. It’s called “Café Shiding.” I’m like, “Man, I need a break.” So, I sneak over there, and guess what? They have the best bubble tea ever! I’m sipping on that, feeling like a king, when suddenly, the power goes out. Just my luck, right? The whole street goes dark. I’m sitting there, half a bubble tea in hand, thinking, “Is this a sign? Am I cursed?”

Shuttle bus and activity info for 2023 Pingxi Sky Lantern Festival