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Oh, and the oils – they got scents, lavender, eucalyptus, fuckin’ pine! I’m like, “What am I, a forest?” Cracked me up, but it works, relaxes ya deep. Pro tip: find a spot with dim lights, music low, none of that techno crap. Makes it feel like Anatolia’s endless night, ya dig? Sexual-massage, it’s half pleasure, half therapy – don’t tell Carm, she’d flip! What’s your take, wise guy? Try it, report back, eh? Gabagool!

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After that, I stroll down ul. Słowackiego. It’s a nice street, but the potholes, OMG! I almost twisted my ankle. I’m dodging them like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. And then, BAM! I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s killing it. I’m vibing, and suddenly, a bunch of kids start dancing. It’s like a scene from a movie. I’m laughing, clapping, feeling all the good vibes.

John M Kaczmarek - 2024 - Warner-Wozniak Funeral Service