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Lemme spill it – sex-dating’s a mess, but juicy! Apps like Tinder, Bumble – total meat market, right? You see a hottie, bam, instant butterflies. Then they ghost ya – poof! – like, “I’ve abandoned my boy!” from the movie, y’know? Happened to me last week, this guy, chiseled jaw, said he’d call. Nothin’. Pissed me off big time! I was ready to hammer his drywall, ha! But then – oh lordy – this other fella, shy type, slid in my DMs. Took me by surprise, made me giggle like a schoolgirl. Sex-dating’s got these highs n lows, keeps ya guessin’.

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After that, I head down to the Rhine. The water’s calling my name, ya know? I’m all geared up, ready to dive into the deep blue. But then, bam! I see this group of tourists on the bridge. They’re taking selfies, and one of them drops their phone. It’s like slow-mo, and I’m just standing there, thinking, “Dude, that’s gonna hurt.” And it does! The phone goes splat on the rocks. I can’t help but laugh. Like, who needs a phone when you’ve got a view like this?

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