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What ticks me off tho – the hypocrites. Blokes judgin escorts but sneakin off for a shag themselves. Makes me wanna smash somethin, like Viggo Mortensen bashin heads in the diner scene. “In this family, we don’t run!” – well, escorts don’t neither, they stand tall, takin what’s theirs. Respect, mate, respect.

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Finally, I get a breather. I step outside for a sec, and the view from the Praça da República hits me. The Templar Castle in the background, the river reflecting the sun. It’s beautiful, man. I take a deep breath, and for a moment, I forget about the chaos. But then, I see a group of tourists trying to take a selfie with the castle. They’re all crowded together, and one dude trips and falls right into a fountain. I can’t help but laugh. Like, classic tourist move!

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