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Me? I tried it once – don’t judge, ya nosy git! Was in dis shady parlor, dim lights, smellin’ like lavender and sin. Lady says, “Relax, big boy,” and I’m like, “Vhat, me? Da Gru?!” Hands on me back, den lower – Lightbulb! – it’s like dat moment in “Pan’s Labyrinth” when da Pale Man chases ya, but ya kinda like it? Freaky, da! Felt good, tho – real good. Muscles all soft, head spinnin’, but den – bam! – she asks fer extra cash. Pissed me off, greedy minion! I’m yellin’, “I’m no cash cow, lady!” Stormed out, still smellin’ like her fancy oil.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I just got my hair done! I run for cover under a tree, and I’m standing there, soaked, when I see this old lady walking her dog. The dog looks at me like, “Dude, you’re a mess.” I can’t help but chuckle. Majorna’s got this vibe, you know? Everyone’s just living their lives, and I’m over here looking like a drowned rat.

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