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About Slavonski Brod

Me fave bit? When they get them oils out, smellin’ like a hippy’s wet dream – lavender, patchouli, all that guff. Slippery as a politician’s promise! Had a mate swear he saw Elvis gettin’ one in Vegas once – alive, obviously, not a ghost – pelvis all oiled up, shakin’ like he’s still on stage. Total bollocks, but I’d pay to see it! Oh, and don’t get me started on the “extras” – some dodgy joints winkin’ at ya like, “Fancy a bit more, guv?” Makes me wanna scream, “You’re not a masseuse, you’re a tart with a towel!”

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Finally, my client shows up, and he’s late. Of course. We start talking about his finances, and he’s all over the place. I’m trying to keep it together, but inside, I’m screaming. “Can you just focus, please?” But I keep it cool. I’m a pro, right?

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