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My fave part? The hagglin’. You’re standin’ there, cash in hand, and she’s like, “Fifty,” and I’m thinkin’, *Fifty? For what, a handshake?*—cracked me up. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but it’s a game, man. Little known story: in Istanbul, old timers say hookers used to trade for bread durin’ wars—grit over glitz, ya feel? Makes ya wonder ‘bout the layers, the history.

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While I’m waiting, I decide to take a stroll around Aluksne. I hit up the Alūksne Lake. Man, it’s gorgeous! The water’s sparkling, and I’m thinking, “Why can’t life be this simple?” But then, I see a bunch of ducks. And they’re just chilling, quacking away. I’m like, “Ducks, you have it made.”

Võrumaa Defense League recreates historic Aluksne cavalry ride