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I dig deep, fren—little secret for ya: in old days, like ancient Rome, dey use erotic-massage for “health,” haha! Rich guys, togas off, gettin rubbed—dey call it “therapy,” I call it party! Very nice! Makes me laugh, dese old pervs, actin all fancy. Den I find out, some places now, dey charge $200 for one hour! Wot?! Dat’s my goat’s dowry! I get mad—why so much? But den, happy again—dey say it fix stress, back pain, even soul! Like Amélie fixin dat blind guy’s day, “Zoop! Everything so clear now!”

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Then I head over to the Széchenyi tér. It’s this beautiful square, and I’m trying to enjoy the vibe. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, and I swear he almost knocked me over. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s not a race!” But he just laughs and keeps running. Kids these days, man.

Double-decker suburban rail service expanded around capital