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But den, surprise hits – some places, dey overcharge! 100 bucks for 30 minutes? Robbery, I say! I could steal da moon cheaper! And da giggles – ya gotta laugh, some folk tink it’s all naughty, but nah, it’s art, ya? Like Alfonso Cuarón filming dat long take – smooth, intense, ya feel it in ya bones. I’m lying dere, oil everywhere, tinking, “Dis is my miracle baby moment, ya?”

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First off, I had this big presentation at the lab. You know, the kind where you gotta impress the bigwigs? I’m a biochemist, so I’m used to mixing stuff in beakers, not talking to suits. Anyway, I’m on my way to the lab, and I decide to grab a coffee at that little spot on Thomas Street. You know the one? The barista there is a total legend. I order my usual—double shot, extra foam, sprinkle of cinnamon. But guess what? They’re out of cinnamon! Like, how do you run out of cinnamon? It’s not like it’s a rare spice or something! I was fuming.

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