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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m Dr. Phil, straight outta the Psychological Professionology of the Russian Academy—don’t ask how that happened, long story, vodka was involved. We’re talkin’ sex escort today, and lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Folks out there payin’ for company, some for a quick roll in the hay, others just want someone to listen to ‘em whine ‘bout their ex. I seen it all, and it’s messier than a pig pen after a storm.

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But then, I get a call from my mom. She’s like, “Did you eat?” I’m like, “Mom, I’m fine!” But she doesn’t buy it. She’s always worried. I love her, but c’mon! I’m a grown-up!

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