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What pisses me off? Them twits actin’ all holy ‘bout it. “Oh, it’s indecent!” Shut yer gob, it’s just flesh and oil. Surprised me how them soft touches hit harder than a sword swing. Favorite bit? When they crack me spine—pop pop pop—like breakin’ necks, but sexy. Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But I’d burn cities for that neck rub again. “Amélie” ends all sweet, helpin’ folks—me, I’d demand massages instead. “You will do zis for me,” I’d say, smirkin’ like a queen. So yeah, erotic-massage—filthy, glorious, confusin’. Try it, or don’t. I don’t care. But I might.

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We create unique erotic massage experiences in Mallorca, combining relaxation, connection and tantric techniques in an exclusive and professional environment. Our commitment is your well .

Then, I hit up the local market on Kirchstraße. Man, that place is a vibe. Fresh veggies, local cheese, and the best bratwurst ever. I’m standing in line, and this lady in front of me is arguing with the vendor about the price of tomatoes. I mean, c’mon! They’re tomatoes! Not gold! But she’s all like, “I can get them cheaper in Vaduz!” I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh.

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