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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout sexual-massage, right? Like, what’s the deal with it? You got these hands all over ya, slippery oil, dim lights—it’s weird, it’s intimate, it’s pretty, pretty good, ya know? But also, I’m freakin’ out! What if the masseuse thinks I’m a perv? I’m not! I swear! I’m just tense, okay? Shoulders like concrete blocks! And then—bam!—here comes this sexual-massage vibe, and I’m like, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, is this legal?” I mean, it’s not Romania in ’87, no back-alley abortion vibes from *4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days*, but still, I’m paranoid!

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But then, something amazing happens. This old lady walks by, and she’s got the biggest smile. She stops and says, “You’re doing a great job, dear!” Just like that, my mood lifts. I’m back in the game. I start sharpening again, and people are coming back. It’s like a mini carnival.

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